The Fornicator in Chief

Q: What is the difference between Monica Lewinsky and a brick?
A: Laying a brick never ruined your career.

Q: What was the first thing Clinton said when Francisco Martin Duran started shooting at the White House?
A: Oh #*@$! You're husband's outside and he's PISSED!

Q: What did Hillary tell Bill when the Paula Jones story broke?
A: " I TOLD YOU to let Teddy Kennedy drive her home!"

Q: What game did Bill Clinton want Paula Jones to play?
A: Swallow the leader

Q: Dan Quayle, Ted Kennedy, and Bob Packwood were in a spelling bee. Who won?
A: Dan Quayle, because he was the only one who knew that "harass" was
one word....

Q: What did Clinton say to Paula Jones when she broke her story?
A: "I said `Do my erection', -not- `ruin my re-election.' !!"

Q: What do Bill Clinton and Jim Bakker have in common?
A: Both of their mistresses made Playboy.

Q: What is the difference between Clinton and the Titanic?
A: Only 200 women went down on the Titanic.

Q: What does Bill say to Hillary after having sex?
A: I'll be home in 15 minutes.
A: Come pick me up before she calls the cops!

Q: How does Bill Clinton fire up superlawyer Bob Bennett?
A: He tells him to go out there and win one for the zipper.

Q: What did the populist Clinton say to promote his inauguration?
A: "My balls are for everyone."

Q: Where did Bill Clinton get his favorite hand gesture? (Index finger wrapped around the thumb when emphasizing a point.)
A: From pulling down shades in motel rooms.

Q: What is Bill's definition of safe sex?
A: When Hillary is out of town.

Q: What will Clinton do for the Navy?
A: Give Rear Admiral a new meaning.

Q: How is Bill Clinton a lot like railroad tracks?
A: He's been laid all over the country.

Q: Why are staff cuts so difficult for Clinton?
A: He can't give a woman a pink slip without asking her to try it on first.

Q: Why is Clinton so interested in events in the Middle East?
A: He thinks the Gaza Strip is a topless bar.

Q: How does Bill keep Gennifer Flowers away from the White House?
A: He keeps offering to send Ted Kennedy over to give her a ride.

Q: How can you tell that the guy who attacked the  White house with a plane was insane?
A: He seems to have thought Clinton would be in his -own- bedroom at night.

Q: Why did the chick cross the road?
A: To get away from Bill Clinton.

Q: Why won't there be a White House Christmas pageant this year?
A: They can't find three wise men and a virgin.

Q: What's Clinton's executive order #1?
A: Flowers by his bedside.

Q: What's the difference between Bill Clinton and a gigolo?
A: A gigolo can only screw one person at a time.

Q: What does Gennifer Flowers do when she misses Bill Clinton?
A: Eats Waffles

Q: Why did Bill go out to sea on an aircraft carrier?
A: To promote off-shore drilling.

Q: What are Clinton's plans for the military?
A: Transfer Seamen to all branches of the armed forces.

Q: What is the favorite nursery rhyme of Clinton's bimbos?
A: Humpme Dumpme.

Q: What is the Arkansas state flower?
A: Gennifer

Q: Why did Bill Clinton cross the road?
A: To meet the chick.

Q: What would Clinton do if he did not get into politics?
A: Become a botanist and play with Flowers

Q: Why is Hillary worried about letting Bill go to the movies?
A: Because he's afraid the usherette will ask to see his stub.

Q: Why did Bill Clinton fire Joyce Elders??
A: Because he failed her masturbation course!

Q1: What's a word for Clintons '92 campaign
Q2: What did Clinton request from Paula Jones.
Q3: What will you get if Clinton's health bill passes?
A1: Snow-Job A2: Blow-Job A3: No Job.